Reflection
by BrokenHeartsShatteredDreams
Summary: When Dean's self-loathing takes control, it's up to Sam to bring his brother back.


**Reflection**

_By: BrokenHeartsShatteredDreams_

_**Dean **_

It was late and the bunker was empty save for one person. Dean sat at the table, a bottle of whiskey in front of him. He should be doing something productive, research maybe, but he can't make himself do it. All he can do is sit there, drinking that bottle and letting the self-loathing consume him. He had one job that actually meant anything to him and he failed it. The only thing he had left was gone now...didn't want a damn thing to do with him and it was his fault. He'd lied to him, to Sammy. Tricked him into coming back here, here where the only thing left was misery and a worthless brother. Sam coulda been happy by now. Spending long days with their mom maybe. He coulda been away from all of this bullshit by now.

"Poison. That's what you are. That's all you are. Poison to everyone around you. Can't even live without your own brother."

Startled, he glanced up. His mirror image stood in front of him, leaning casually against the wall. Dean blinked. This couldn't be real. He was seeing things. Was he that drunk? He glanced at the mostly empty bottle of whiskey. Probably. He'd been drinking all day. Closing his eyes, he pretended he wasn't seeing this. When he opened his eyes, the reflection was still there. Sneering at him.

"Can't get rid of me that easy." The thing smirked.

Dean said nothing, not trusting himself to speak.

"Sammy hates you, you know? He'll never forgive you for what you did. Pretty soon, he's going to leave you and then you'll be alone. Poor little Dean. What'll you do then? What'll you do when you're all alone? Die? Sammy probably wouldn't care. Hell, he'd probably come to the funeral just to laugh at you."

The thing continued to speak but Dean wasn't listening anymore. He stood, his world spinning, and threw the bottle against the wall. Screaming, he picked up a chair and hurled it against a wall. There was so much anger inside of him, so much pain and rage and it came spilling out of him right then. Tears rolled down his cheeks but he barely felt them. He was screaming but he could barely hear himself. All he could focus on was the reflection of himself saying those horrible things. He dropped to his knees, screaming at the top of his voice, begging someone to help him...to make it go away before he lost control.

"HELP ME! PLEASE! JUST MAKE THIS STOP!"

_**Sam**_

It was dark when he walked into the bunker. At first, it was quiet inside and he figured Dean was asleep. That or too drunk to talk. Then he heard it. The screaming. His brother was screaming at the top of his voice. Sam couldn't tell what he was saying, not right at first anyways, so he followed the sound to the library. The place looked like a hurricane had hit it. There were chairs, broken and scattered, throughout the room, broken glass, and books that looked like they'd been thrown around the room. Looking around the room, he found Dean. He was on his knees by the table, hands covering his face, screaming.

As Sam watched, Dean screamed again. This time, his scream was directed at a mirror. It was the only thing left in the room that hadn't been broken or thrown. Dean was staring into it, hatred etched on his face. He wanted to get closer, to stop Dean before he hurt himself but something stopped him in his tracks. Dean. Dean was talking to his reflection. His screaming had stopped but now his voice was filled with an agony that made Sam's chest hurt.

"You're right. I'm a poison. I failed Sam...I failed Dad. And now Sam hates me and it's my fault. I brought him back because I can't live without him but now I've fucked things up all over again and he hates me."

He continued to speak but Sam tuned it out. Forcing himself to close the distance between them, Sam dropped to his knees beside his big brother and whispered his name. Dean turned, pain turning to fear as he stared at his little brother. Sam didn't speak, he just flung his arms around his big brother like he used to when they were little and held Dean close as they both came apart at the seams. Dean sobbed, his entire body shaking, as Sam held him. He whispered apology after apology and Sam finally found his voice.

"Don't apologize. I couldn't have lived without you either."

And that was it. That was all he needed to say. Dean sobbed harder, pressing himself against Sam as though he were in danger of losing him all together. And Sam held him, lending quiet strength as his big brother came apart in his arms. They weren't back to normal yet but they'd get there. They'd get there together. As brothers.


End file.
